


Start with tomorrow

by harmony_pond



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Blow Jobs, F/M, Past Abuse, Service Submission, Shibari, Squirting, Tattoos, Vaginal Fingering, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmony_pond/pseuds/harmony_pond
Summary: Kenma and you were good friends in school, and you always wanted to admit your feelings for him, but time and circumstances kept you from doing so until after you meet up ten years after graduation.Kenma Kozume x female readerharmony sinspiration#1161Entry for Yagami Yato Fanfic November 2020
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41
Collections: Yagami Yato Fanfic Event: November 2020





	Start with tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> The Poem that Kenma recites to you is titled "The Old Violin" by Myra Brooks Welch

“Kenma, Hey Kenma, wait up a second.” Your voice carried across the green space that you’d usually have your lunch in. His amber eyes turned to watch you run across to him. His soft spoken voice was a comfort to your ears after the assault on your senses in the school. “Can I see what you’ve been working on? I love to see your artwork.” A light blush creeped up his face at your words, as he pulled his notebook tighter to him. “C’mon Kenma, we graduate next month and then who knows where we will end up, I just want to see the last piece of yours. Please?” He looked you up and down, before pulling you to the tree and shade nearby. 

“Please don’t say anything about it, it’s not done yet and I want it to be a surprise.” A small pang of jealousy hit you as you looked at his picture, it was a simple drawing of his current girlfriend. You had never felt it right to bring up your attraction to him, and now you were truly regretting it. All through the years that you two had been in school together, he was the one person you could confide in and never be judged. Now it was probably too late. Biting back the urge to blurt your feelings out, you schooled your face to calm before looking back up at him. “Oh Kenma, she’s going to love it. When do you plan on giving it to her?” His face lit up with such adoration that you could not admit just how jealous you were, though you were happy for him as well, even if he wasn’t with you. 

“Oh her birthday is the day before graduation so I’ll be giving it to her then. I need to get to class, so I’ll see you later okay?” He turned and took off across the campus, with that one last glance back at you that always had you wondering. You shook your head and took off the opposite way. Days moved so quickly from spring to summer and graduation happened. The routine of the days in and out made it seem like nothing was happening, but each day was one more marked off the calendar. 

You were so proud to see him walk across the stage. You were not too far behind him, but something told you that you’d not see him again for a long time after graduation. It was a hard thing to admit that you just felt the distance in time already and graduation had just happened. Kenma was going across the country to school and you were staying home. It was a bittersweet day all around. You stood staring at all the friends that were moving all across the country and were hit by such a pang of nostalgia even though the time was present before you. Kenma was there in the red graduation gown that made his hair take on a strawberry hue. His head was bent to his girlfriend as they laughed together. It hurt your heart that you had never told him how you feel. 

He looked up at you and smiled from across the room, even waving you over, but you just waved back and turned away. This time, this time you couldn’t take not being the one by his side. Time was fleeting and it was time for you to admit that you needed to move on, even if it was hard. 

  
  
  


**Ten years later**

  
  


The reunion had snuck up on you, though you had not yet decided if you would be going or not. Time and distance had taken away most of your school friends. Those that you were still in touch with were now more acquaintances rather than friends. A brunch now and again, maybe a christmas card exchanged, if you remembered to get it out in time. Work was always something that you sunk yourself into, now was no different than back in school. Each night was the same routine, come home from the office, fix a single plate for dinner, watch the news and sink into a hot bath before bed. The simple routines were mind settling for you. Though so many of your older friends would think you were boring now, the simplicity of this all was a balm to your mind in a chaotic world. Each morning was the routine of fixing your tea, watching the leaves bloom in the cup and filter before adding just a hint of sugar to it, cream if it was a dark black tea. The motions of the cream dancing through the hot liquid magic to your eyes. 

You could sit at your small table and glance through the social media, though doing so hurt your heart at times. The weekends though? The weekends were when you were no longer yourself. You held a part time job at a bdsm club to fulfill the tendencies that you were afraid to admit to any partner you had before. The sounds that carried you through the night as you walked the drinks and snacks around to the participants, those rang through your head all week long until the following Friday rolled around again. The small leather mask you wore kept you anonymous enough that no one at your office had recognized you, even though you had seen many of them through there. You kept your head bowed and served to fulfill your desires. Each night you would go home and masturbate to the images that you had seen and that head of dual coloured hair from your memories. His soft voice still filled your ears through your mind. No one you had dated in these past ten years ever matched up to your memories of him. 

_C’mon girl, time to switch things up a little. Time to break this routine a little bit._ You had a little extra money from a bonus this year and it was finally time to get that tattoo you had always dreamed of, a simple small black cat surrounded by a dragon. One the symbol of your school and fond memories, the other a symbol of your birth. After doing some research you finally settled on a shop to go to, and scheduled a meeting to discuss design and pricing. Keeping your routines up as you waited on your appointment allowed you to quell any nervousness that would bubble up in you. Finally the day was here. At the tattoo studio, it was a bastion of calm for you. The music faint in the background. You could see at each chair there was a set of headphones the clients could use to listen to music of their choice. Upon giving your name to the receptionist, you were mildly disappointed that the artist you had chosen was suddenly unavailable. Instead, the owner of the shop was going to take over the design for you. Unbeknownst to you, your old friend owned this shop, even though his name was nowhere associated with it. You were guided to a small office for the design meeting and asked to wait here, as your artist would be joining you soon. 

Placing your notebook on the desk there, with your notes on what you wanted, and breathing in the soothing citrus scent was the calm you needed. Your mind was racing and your hands were shaking with nerves you could barely conceal. Your head was down as you focused on not wringing your hands so you didn’t notice when he walked in. The voice that had been in your head for the last decade, “Pudding, how are you?” You took a deep breath and looked up to meet his golden amber eyes. “Kenma, what? You? You own this shop? When did you move back?” 

His soft chuckle sent shivers down your spine that you barely controlled. “Well pudding, we can discuss that over coffee, or tea if you still prefer later? Let's focus on why you are here first. I see you have your notes with you. Still a note taker huh?” Just like that, things seemed to be just like they were ten years ago. Your heads were bent together looking at his quick sketches for your notes, chuckling over the same tired jokes. The only difference was that he’d occasionally touch your hand, or your knees would bump into each other. Each time, your pulse would race and your eyes would go wide by just a tiny margin. As he continued sketching you leaned back to listen to the rough graphite over paper. The scratching sound filled the room as he bit his bottom lip in concentration. It had been forever since you had felt this relaxed without your routines. The time passed quickly until a knock was at the door, a quick message was passed to him that his next appointment was here. “Pudding, I’ll finish these up and call you when the designs are ready so you can approve it?” He stood quickly and waited for your nod. “Your number is in your file, is that the best way to reach you?” Again he waited for your nod. He stepped from the room, and did that same look back that always left you wondering before continuing on his way.  
  
It was a few days later that you got a text from a number you didn’t recognise. At first you weren’t going to bother looking at it, but a thought that it might be Kenma had you curious. _Pudding, can we meet for coffee this afternoon?_ Your hands tapped against the back of your phone contemplating just how fast you should respond. You still had to have your morning routine first. That was paramount to starting your day. The kettle was ready and you decided to fix your tea before responding. The thin china set on the table before you as you contemplated your response. The tea cooling as you finally typed out a response, _I’d be happy to, say, an early dinner instead? I’m off tomorrow and you can come here for dinner, if you’d like._ You hit send before you could think about it again. Your phone buzzed almost immediately. _I’d love that, I have your address from your paperwork. I can be there by 6._

The racing of your pulse was something you were not accustomed to anymore. Not one single person had elicited that response as well as that soft spoken, confident man. Age had been kind to him. He had filled out and gotten a little wider through the chest. His voice had dropped a little more, to add a hint of smokiness to his voice. He still never got his hair done on a regular schedule though, so it was still that same dual coloured tone that you remembered so fondly. Your hands shook slightly as you lifted the tea to your lips. The warmth passing over your lips was what you needed to soothe your mind. The bite of the tannins flowed over your taste buds. The slight bitterness eased by the demerara sugar and heavy cream in your tea. You had let it steep just a few moments too long, but that could not be helped. Your mind raced as you planned what you would need to pick up to make dinner tomorrow night. 

The day flowed quickly and boring as you couldn’t even remember until it was five o’clock already. You packed your things up and headed to the store to pick up ingredients for your dinner tomorrow. You hadn’t cooked like this in a while, it was something you were looking forward to. Once home you put things away before slipping back into your routines. There was a calm that you had before the rush of tomorrow. You’d have to start the sauce first thing in the morning to give it time to simmer properly. The bread would need to rise. All these things flowed through your mind as you made the motions for your bath and simple salad for dinner. 

  
  


Your dreams that night were inhabited by a man you had not actually dreamed of in so long. You woke the next morning with your sheets twisted around you and a light coating of sweat from your dreams. The ache between your legs would have to be ignored if you were going to make things right for the day. A shower could wait, you had to start the sauce. Setting out all the ingredients to the sauce and chopping the tomatoes. The subtle scent of them filling the air as you lay them out on a pan to roast in the oven. The blast from the oven hit your sweat slicked skin. Next was chopping the peppers and garlic left their moisture on your fingers. The slight stickiness of the garlic stayed on your fingers. Placing the sharp edge of the blade against the wrapped basil until you had a pile of the dark green emerald colour filling a small bowl. The mise en place you had set up pleased your eyes. The calm moments settled the static in your brain. The rising richness of the roasting tomatoes blended with the rest of the ingredients on your countertop. Pulling the tomatoes out of the oven, the slight blackness to the edges of caramelization on the tomatoes would be exactly what the sauce would need. Finally it was time to chop the onions, the sulphuric smell was a sharp bite to the rest of the sweet smells in the kitchen. Tossing the now chopped onion and garlic into a hot pan, until the onions were translucent. _Everything was coming together._ Now that the sauce was simmering you could take a shower to prepare for the evening.

The day moved quickly as you moved through the rest of the motions to make fresh pasta, the kneading of the bread and allowing it to rise. The yeasty sweetness brought you back to yourself as you layered the sauce, cheese, pasta and meat together. Placing the tray of lasagna in the oven to bake just after you removed the fresh bread. You should be able to remove it just before Kenma arrived. The hot bread was ready to cool for slicing. You smoothed your hands over the soft denim on your legs and bare stomach that was barely visible when you raised your hands. The ring of the bell at your door had you catching your breath before you smoothed your hands down your denim once again. You took a deep breath and removed the lasagna from the oven before walking to the door. Pulling it open to reveal the man that had tormented your dreams sent your pulse racing and your pupils dilating. You swung your arms wide to welcome him into your home, “Please, make yourself at home. I still have a salad to make while the lasagna sets.” He set the portfolio that he brought with him on the nearby side table as he took a deep whiff of the food you had prepared. “Pudding, you didn’t have to go through this much trouble.”  
  


You ducked your head and tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear, “Kenma, it makes me happy to do things like this for those I care about. Please have a seat and I’ll make up the salad to go with dinner.” The knife moved quickly over the cutting board as you chopped the vegetables. The colours vibrant against one another, deep green peel of the cucumber, the bright orange and purple of the carrots, the rich earthy brown of the mushrooms, filled the bowl against the varying shades of green lettuces. You picked up a glass jar to add balsamic vinegar, olive oil, a dash of mustard and lemon juice with myriad spices to make a dressing for the salad. You had to focus on ignoring Kenma staring at you. He was silent in watching you. Occasionally you’d turn to look at him, he’d have a strange expression on his face as he watched your careful movements. Each movement had a reason, and he could see you revel in the tasks before you. Setting the plates and bowls before your two spots, the small bowl of oil to dip your bread in sprinkled with pepper and parmesan cheese was a counterpoint to the crisp white tablecloth. “Please, Kenma help yourself. I hope you enjoy what I’ve served you.” A flash of a look went across his face as his hands tensed before relaxing again. You almost missed it. “Pudding, it has been a long time since I had a home cooked meal. Thank you for this.” The flush that filled your face was not missed by him as you both dug into your meals. 

The talk between the two of you through dinner was interspersed with Kenma’s moans of pleasure. He went back for seconds before the dinner was over. “Kenma, if you don’t mind, allow me to clean up before we look over your drawings?” He nodded as he pulled his hair back into a ponytail, exposing the undercut that had been hidden until now. “Pudding, let me help you at least?” Shaking your head no, “No it’s okay, I enjoy the work and it’s easy enough. If you could though, put some music on for us” as you nodded to a radio nearby. He flipped through a few stations until he settled on something that was soft and steady if it was still the bass pounding sounds that he loved. “Still on the bass huh Kenma?” Your chuckle brought a smile to his face as you continued to wash the dishes and put food away. Once the counters were clean and the table cleared he spread his drawings out for you to look over. 

The vivid reds and deep black highlights of the dragon as they wrapped around a precocious kitten were amazing. “Oh Kenma, I never expected this. I mean, I knew you were a great artist back then, but now, you have become excellent.” Your fingers brushed over the raised ink of the paper as your excitement grew. “When will I be able to get this?” He pulled out his phone to check his schedule, “Pudding, I think we can get you in, in about two weeks, on a Saturday?” You checked your own weekend schedule, “As long as we are done by 9pm, that will be good, otherwise I have to request the evening off.” He typed a few things into his phone and you received a text with the appointment details. As he stood to leave, “Pudding, this was nice, thank you, would we be able to do this again?” You looked up to him, trying to keep your face smooth, “Yes, yes I think we can do that. Though I may not cook like this again for a while.” A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you stood to walk him out. There at the door as you held it open to the night air, his fingers brushed a lock of hair back behind your ear, and retracted as if his hand were hit by lightning. He quickly walked out, with that same look back, this time with more longing. 

The weeks went by quickly, with texts and small dates between the two of you. Something was building but you weren’t sure if you could say anything. Something you never thought possible. He was always the one you wanted, but was never able to have. The small touches of his hand, the watching eyes were ever present as the two of you got more comfortable with touching each other. 

The day of the appointment came and your routines were doing nothing to settle your mind. You walked into the shop as the only appointment there. “Kenma? I though you were open today?” He opened his arm to welcome you in, “Pudding, I wanted your first tattoo to be special, so allow me to do this for you. It’s just you and me here today, you can blast music if you want, and if you need to cry or shake with the emotions that some get during a tattoo, there will be no one but me here to witness it.” 

His voice was so calming and commanding that you just enter this headspace you've only dreamt of before. You could feel the tattoo gun going over your skin, but you were high on endorphins. He doesn't say anything, but knows, he just knows what you are going through. His voice talked you through it, praise and small commands to move just so for him. Once he was done, and got you bandaged, he just sits with you as you come back to conscious thought. He helps you put your pants back on and was very careful to avoid any sexual touches. Your eyes meet as he is just talking to you. "You did great. I'm so proud of you pudding.” He moves to get you some juice to help you center yourself.

Your eyes look back to him as you seem to float back into full awareness. His ever soft voice just talking about his day to you. "Kenma, thank you, thank you for helping me. I've never done that before." His gentle voice pitched even lower, "Pudding, I would be happy to teach you, if you will let me." Before he realised what he had said, he couldn’t take it back now. “Pudding, I’m sorry, I’ve taken advantage of you when you are emotionally vulnerable. Please, let me apologise.” You looked up to him with a tired smile. “Kenma, it’s okay, I’ll be okay, you didn’t say anything to offend me. Just give me some time to think about what has happened.” You walked out after paying him and drove yourself home. You would have to get ready for work soon. Thankfully your boss had approved you wearing the pants uniform for a couple weeks until your new tattoo had healed. 

  
  


That evening you went through your routines yet again. However this time it was robotic rather than calming. Your thoughts were only on the man who had completely calmed your mind. You were even able to serve in the shibari showplace when you normally could not. The thoughts of being bound to where you couldn’t move sent shivers through your mind that you had not been able to overcome yet.

Days flowed into weeks once more as the seasons changed you still had not worked up the nerve to call Kenma back. New members showed up at the club and old ones left. There was a new member that kept drawing your eye, his form looked familiar but all he did was watch people. He was friends with the owner of the club you had heard from your coworkers. Occasionally you’d feel his eyes on you but he was never rude about it. The short skirt and mask you wore, always caused people to eye you so it was nothing out of the ordinary. The odd thing was the calm that fell over you when you felt his looks. 

The next morning you woke to a simple text _Pudding call me back._ Your pulse raced at his terse words. The emotion evident even through the text. He was either pissed or worried about you. All through your mind all you could think of was the graduation day as you waved and turned away. Taking a deep breath and steeling yourself you decided to text him rather than call. It was early after all you told yourself. _Kenma, can you come by today? Anytime after noon is good._

Your morning tea called you, you needed the routines if you were going to admit to him what you had been feeling since the two of you were younger. Time seemed to be moving slower and slower, every glance at the clock was only moments later. You’d find yourself standing in your apartment lost in thought, forgetting what you were doing. Your mind was racing and nothing was slowing it down. 

Your doorbell sounded, a glance at the clock showed that it was only 11 am. You weren’t expecting anyone yet. Peeking out the peephole showed the man you were expecting later. Opening the door wide, “Kenma I asked you,” The look in his eyes had your voice trailing off. “Pudding, I was worried about you. We have things we need to discuss.” He stepped in and the presence you felt at your club fell over you. Your mind was suddenly calm again. Giving a quick shake of your head as you closed the door quietly and walked with him to the low couch in the living room. “Please Kenma, sit anywhere.” He sat at one end of the couch and motioned for you to join him. You sat near him, but not next to him. Smoothing your skirt down under your thighs as you sat, turning to face him. “Kenma, I’m sorry, I had no intention of worrying you. I just, I needed time, my mind, it has been lost in memories and I needed to sort through them. I’ve been going through my days like a robot. Not even my patterns and routines have helped.” 

His quiet “shhhh” slipped through your senses as he reached forward and touched your wrist. His fingers curling around your wrist, resting just over your pulse there and pulling you closer. “Pudding, please, make a pot of coffee for me? We have a lot to discuss.” You looked at him closely, his eyes seemed harder than they used to be, but his touch was gentle. His thumb pressed into you pulse and glided back and forth over the soft skin there. “Now pudding, I know you remember how much I like coffee, go make some now.” His hand gave your wrist a small squeeze as he looked to the small pot you had for guests. You stood quickly and moved to the kitchen, this wasn’t part of the normalcy you had, but it felt right. First you filled the pot with cold water and pulled the coffee you kept in the freezer for guests out. A small grinder stood nearby to pulse them to the right grind. The rattling sound filled the apartment as the rich scent of coffee started to fill the air. Once that was ready you dumped the grinds into the top of the pot and set the stove top percolator on to heat up. The clear glass allowed you to watch it as the bubbles started to form at the bottom.  
  


You could feel Kenma’s presence in the room nearby you. The strength he projected from his lean frame was disconcerting. Watching the clear water turn to the perfect shade of brown was all you could focus on as he moved in to stand behind you. He didn’t put a single hand on you, but you could feel him. You turned to look at him, startled that he was so close that you had to turn your head up to see him. “Pudding, routines, patterns, staying in the details of your mind are important aren’t they?” You nodded softly but didn’t say anything. Quickly turning around to tend to the coffee before it burned. You set out two cups, _this was going to be a coffee day it seems_. Watching the liquid pour into the cups and setting out the sugar and cream for both of you allowed you to focus. As you sat down at the table, you finally looked up into his eyes. “Kenma, yes, yes we have a lot to talk about.” 

You watched him as he put only sugar in his coffee, and you added both sugar and cream. The dance of the cream was different than your tea, but satisfying nonetheless. Placing the cup to your lips, and glancing over the rim to him. His amber eyes just watching, keeping track of your movements. It was the same feeling you had at the club last night. You both sat in silence for a few moments which did nothing to slow your racing pulse. “Kenma, I, I need to let you know that, back in school. Back in school I was jealous a lot. I was happy for you, but I always wanted to be at your side rather than the girlfriends you had.”  
  
You kept your head bowed and spoke to the table as you admitted this. Your voice was as soft as his as you continued on. “Those feelings never left and then when I was in my mind with the tattoo, it left me feeling scared and wanting to run. The emotions were strong and I had a hard time facing them. I focused on work and just tried to keep going.” He just continued to drink his coffee as he focused on you. “I, Kenma, you’ve never left my thoughts and I, I, just needed to admit that to you. I’m sorry if I’ve said something wrong. I mean I don’t even know if you are single or not. That, that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” Again his “shhhh” calmed you and set your pulse racing at the same time. 

“Pudding, first, yes I’m single or I wouldn’t be here right now, or about to discuss what I wanted to with you.” He lifted his cup to his lips and watched your reaction to his words. Your eyes widened just a bit as a flush crept up your cheeks, and you ducked your head to stare at your coffee cup, holding on for dear life to hide the trembling in your hands. His voice continued on, pulling you to look back to his face. The way his lips moved was all you could focus on until…”Pudding, I want you to look at my eyes. You need to see them as I tell you this next part.” Your eyes traveled up his face, taking in each detail, the curve of his nose, the turn of his eyebrows before meeting his eyes. The rich golden amber hues pulled you into their depths. “Pudding, about five years after graduating I realised just how I felt for you, yet I had no way to reach out to you. I had no way of contacting you, and I thought it had been too long. You were probably with someone, and I was the lost love.”

He dipped his head for a moment before continuing, “When I saw your name for appointments I had to be the one to see you. I had to see you period. You have been in my mind for years now as well. I regret that I never admitted to myself how I felt about you.” He motioned to his now empty coffee cup and without thinking you stood and poured more coffee for him, adding the sugar as you saw him do before. “Oh pudding, it’s exactly like I thought.” Your eyes went wide and stared at him. “Like what?” with a trembling voice you questioned him. He motioned for you to sit next to him instead of across from him this time. “Put your hands on the table for a moment.” You wanted to not do that, but something in you tore open and you did exactly as he asked of you. He rested his warm hands on yours, “Pudding, I saw you the other night. I wasn’t expecting it, but I did. I knew it was you because I could see the tattoo on your leg, my work, my art, my mark on your body. The club, I’m a member, I saw my marks on your body, the body of the woman I have loved since I can remember and all I could think of was trying not to hide you away.” 

You pulled your hands away and stood to step back. “You, you are a member there? You, you really did understand what I felt getting the tattoo? You, you, you want me?” You started shaking your head back and forth as you wrapped your arms around yourself. _The one man you have dreamed of for years, he wanted you as well?_ He stood and walked to you, placing one hand on each of your arms. “Baby girl, I have loved you for as long as I can remember, I just didn’t know it. And now, now I have the chance to show you if you will allow it?” He squeezed your arms and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, before stepping back to give you room to breathe. Before you knew what you were doing you stepped into his space and rested your head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around you and just held you. His head rested on yours as you just stood there and held each other. After a time, he lifted your chin with just one finger and placed a gentle kiss on your lips, before guiding you to the couch in the other room. “Come sit with me pudding, we still have more to discuss.” You followed him into the other room and sat next to him, his hand still holding your wrist as you rested it on his legs. 

“Baby girl, I know, or rather suspect, you are a submissive, and I suspect you thrive in service rather than rougher things. Am I right?” You ducked your head once again, as he tucked your hair behind your ear again, you nodded and softly responded with a simple “yes.” He pulled you into his embrace and tucked you into his frame as you started to shiver slightly. “It’s okay baby, I won’t push you for anything. You take your time and tell me what you need, what you like, and we’ll take it slow. You are in control here, until you are ready to give that up.” He kissed the top of your head as you rested against him. “Sshhh rest now for a little bit. You must be worn out.” He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch as he pushed you to lay down and rest your head in his lap. He would run his fingers through your hair and down your cheek as you drifted off. The comfort of having him near you, touching you, was something you had only dreamed of until this point. Your eyes got heavy as his hands ran through your hair. His voice brushed over your mind with a simple command, “Sleep pudding, and we will talk when you are refreshed.” That was all you needed to let your mind drift into slumber. 

You woke and stretched forgetting where you were for a moment. Your mind was calmer than it had been in years. All the things you had done to get rid of that static was a distant memory as you laid there and thought about the man whose leg you rested on. You wanted to hide further under the blanket that covered you but your growling stomach gave you away. You quietly slipped out from under the blankets and covered him up. The dark circles there were evidence that he really had worried about you these past weeks. You slipped into the bedroom to place a call to order dinner. A quick wash to your face and a fresh pot of coffee going was what was needed. Once you had the coffee going, you could see him stirring with the scent filling the apartment. He looked to you from over the edge of the couch. “Pudding, is that for me?” Nodding quickly as the doorbell rang. You grabbed dinner and set it out with the coffee to fill the void that the day had eaten up. “Kenma, please come join me and we can finish talking?” His smile was contagious as he walked in and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for thinking of me. Yes, we will eat then I need to hear from you what exactly it is that you want from me. I also need to tell you what I want from you.” 

Once dinner was over he stood to clean up shushing you down to your seat. “Baby girl, just because you ache to serve doesn’t mean you have to serve all the time. Let me help pudding.” Your hands wrung together in your lap, almost uncomfortable with being waited on.

“Why don’t you start by telling me why you work at the club you do baby?” His voice gave the indication that he was going to get this information from you no matter what. You took a deep breath before starting an explanation. “A few years after graduation I had a partner that introduced me to BDSM but he was almost abusive in fact. He didn’t care for my pleasure, only getting off himself and using me. Once I was finally able to leave him, I started learning and searching for answers, because there was something there that I was seeking. Yes I could achieve calm in my mind through the pain, but it just didn’t feel fully right. He would tie me up and leave me alone so now I can’t stand the thought of being bound more than maybe a pair of cuffs. After time in therapy, I found this club and started working there part time. With all that I was learning in the right ways to do things, the safe ways to do things, I became aware of just how badly he had abused me.” You could see his shoulders tensing with each word you said, yet he didn’t say anything. “Now, Now I know what I need, and how to achieve that as best I can by myself. I have sought out other Dominants, but none have touched me in my soul like you did when I got my tattoo. I don’t know if it’s because of our previous connection or if it’s something else, but I’m ready to explore it. If you will allow me to serve in this function with you?” 

He finally dried the last dish and turned to face you. “Baby, that man was an asshole, and no one, much less a submissive deserves to be treated like that.” He knelt down at your feet and took your hands in his. “You deserve so much more than that, if you will let me I would worship you and serve you as you serve me. I know it’s fast, I have been thinking about you for years. I’ve always leaned Dominant, I just didn’t know the name for it. For years I have tried to learn the safe ways to do things, but no submissive has clicked with me for how I am Dominant. I would love to explore this dynamic with you.” You didn’t even realise tears were flowing from your eyes until he started to wipe them away. “Baby, don’t cry. I am so happy that we’ve gotten back in touch.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips wrapping his hands around you, one at the nape of your neck and the other on your cheek. He pressed forward for more pressure, urging you to open up and accept him. His tongue finally pressed into your mouth. The dance of his tongue in your mouth had you moaning into him. He pulled you to standing as your bodies pressed together.

You could feel his hard length against you but he made no movement to press it into you, allowing you to choose the speed in which you moved. Your hands sought his waist, resting just above his hips and pulling him closer to you. Your bodies so close that it felt like you might be one. Eventually you pulled away trying to catch your breath. Your hand reached up and touched your now swollen lips. Your eyes were wide and dilated in looking at him. He reached up and tucked your hair back one more time as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Baby girl, may I stay with you tonight? We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, I just want to hold you and keep you safe for the night. Will you allow me to simply hold you tonight?” The whimper that escaped you as you dove into his arms was palpable. “Yes please, stay with me Kenma.” You looked over his shoulder out the window to see the sun setting as if it was the end of an era. 

You woke the next morning with Kenma trailing his hand up and down your spine. He was watching your face transition from sleep to waking. You turned to watch him as goosebumps raced along your skin. The soft lines of his face fascinated you. Ten years had aged him kindly, the scruff of the overnight growth begged to be touched. You turned to your side to face him seeing the sun rise light him from behind. The golden light streamed around him as you raised your hand to run your nails over his cheek. The scruff scratching against your nails. The mild vibration that ran through your hand and caused a smile to break free. “Kenma, my kettle is already on, I know I have today off, but my water is ready for my tea. Would you care to join me?” He nodded swiftly and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Yes pudding I would love that.” 

Today was another day off so you had plenty of time to spend with Kenma today. “Kenma, do you have to go into the shop today?” He took a sip of the tea you made for him before responding. “No, it’s Sunday so today we are closed. Did you have something in mind that you’d like to do today?” A blush crept up your face as you looked intently down to your tea before responding directly into your tea. “I’d like to, if you want…” His voice broke your train of thought, “Pudding if you want to talk or ask anything of me, I need you to look at me.” Your shoulders shook slightly as you looked up to him, “Kenma, I’d like to, if you want, to explore just what you were talking about with BDSM being safe. I’d like to experience that with you, if you will have me?” He stood and pulled you into his arms, “baby girl I would love that if you will let me guide you in this.” You nodded into his chest as his arms held you tightly. “Do you want to make some decisions about what you like or will you trust me to go slowly and give you time to use a safeword?” You took a step back before answering him, “As long as you don’t bind me, I’ll trust you, but you won’t be upset if I call red at all?” 

His growl of anger startled you, “No pudding, I won’t be upset at all. Any Dominant that is upset over their submissive using a safeword when they need to, is no fucking Dominant.” He closed his eyes and took a deep settling breath, “Pudding, why don’t you go hop in the shower and fix some snacks for us. Things that you would find comfort in? I’m going to go back to my place and pick up a few things. I should be back in a couple of hours. When I get back then we will explore this dynamic between ourselves okay?” Your trembling nod was all he needed before he placed a kiss on your cheek and left out. 

You decided to put clean sheets on the bed after fixing a basket of snacks for later. Chocolate bars, small bittersweet dark chocolate bites, bottles of water, and juices too. You were grateful for the small heated rack to rest some blankets on to keep them warm, if you needed them. Then off to the shower, the hot water was almost scalding as you lathered up making quick work of it but taking the time after to carefully apply lotion to your still damp skin. The soft scent of cherry blossoms filled the steamy bathroom. You had a wicked thought and hoped you still had what you were hoping for. Back in school you had purchased a t-shirt with Kenma’s old number on it, in sizes way too large so that you could sleep in it. Time had softened the cotton as you dropped it over your head and quickly put your hair up in a bun. Small wisps framed your face that curled lightly from the steam. Just as you were finishing pinning your hair up, there was that telltale door bell ring that you were hoping for. Looking through the peephole to make sure it was him before opening the door. You had to hide behind it because you wanted only him to see you in just the tee. He stepped in carrying a couple black bags. “Pudding why are you….” as he turned to see you standing there, your legs long under the tee that now only barely covered your sex. The bags dropped to the floor as he grabbed you up. “You devious little minx. When did you do this?” His laughs filled the air with love you needed to feel, as he swiped up the bags and dragged you to the bedroom. 

He paused there to turn and look at you. “Oh pudding this is perfect, Now, in this room and in this room only for now you serve me. Yes?” How he elicited another blush from you when you worked in a bdsm club was beyond you. Nodding was all you could do. “No pudding, baby girl, I need to hear your words and remember, look at me. Don’t hide those lovely eyes of yours, I want to see the moment that you lose yourself in your mind by the pleasure I am determined to give you.” He paused for a moment and continued, “Oh and baby girl, in the room you will refer to me as Sir. Understood?” There was a hardness to his voice that was unexpected, even though the tone was still that soft tone that just sank into your mind. It was almost a whisper, yet still a command that could not be ignored. “Yes Sir.” You glanced up from his feet, trailing up the length of his long legs, to his shoulders and finally to his face. His hair was pulled back showing off the undercut once again. “In this room, and only this room do I serve you Sir. I understand.” He smiled and took your wrist in his hand as he pulled you to the bed. “Now pudding, I’m going to turn the thermostat up just a couple of degrees. We don’t need you catching a chill. I want you to,” He took a shuddering breath before continuing, “As much as I love seeing my number on you, I need you to strip and lay down on your stomach on the bed.” 

Though you were nervous, you did as he asked of you. Your body was shivering as you laid there, listening to him move around the room. You could hear the flick of a lighter and noticed that the lighting had changed in the room. The orange hue of candles filled the room as the overhead lights were turned off. “Baby, you can watch me for now if you want.” He was calm and focused on the things that he was doing. You watched him as he sat his things out and laid a towel out next to you, markers of all different colours were laid out. Some metallic, some almost ethereal in translucency, there were so many that it startled you. _What exactly was he planning?_

“Now if I remember correctly pudding, you don’t like being tied up right?” You gulped almost loudly in the quiet room. “Yes Sir, that’s correct.” He smiled so softly to you, “Well, don’t worry, even though I love seeing rope binding against skin, I have an idea if you will allow it? See these markers? With these I will draw the ropes on you, I will mark you in that way and you will hold the positions I place you in. The drawings will work the same way as ropes but you will still be free to move if you get panicked okay?” Your face lit up with the thought. “Yes Sir, I understand, I would love for you to do that.” He moved you into position, laying on your stomach with a pillow for you to hold on to. “Now, let me know if you need to move or use the restroom, this is going to take a while and I want you to focus on all the sensations that you will be feeling. Just like when you make your tea in the mornings, I want you to feel that way now.” 

“Now, is the time to close your eyes and just let this happen okay pudding?” You took a steadying breath and closed your eyes. It felt like the sounds got louder in that moment. His voice filled your ears as he started talking you through the process. Each colour he picked up he told you what he was using. First was the vivid red that brought back such memories. The ropes he drew creating an X on your back from shoulders to waist. Each twist and turn was highlighted with black to show the twists of the rope. You focused on the scratching almost tickling sensation of the felt tip of the marker. His hands on your body held your skin exactly where he wanted it. Time didn’t seem to pass as a calm rested over your mind. Your eyes would flutter occasionally as he’d tell you just how much of a good girl you were being for him. Your skin would pucker with goosebumps each time he said that. His hands would flatten and brush over the curve of your ass and grip it before going back to working on your back. “Baby girl I need you to sit up and let me get the tops of your shoulders. He pulled you into the V of his legs so that he could connect the ropes to your front. 

The scratching of the felt continued, that and his voice was the only things you could hear. Now that your breasts and nipples were exposed to his gaze and touch, he would tweak at your nipples causing your head to lay back on him. Each time you did that though, he’d slap lightly at your breast and remind you to sit up. It was never enough to cause any pain but be a reminder to hold your posture. He placed kisses along the nape of your neck as he drew. His warm lips were supple and soft. “Baby girl we need a break. Come back to me, do you need help standing?” Your glazed over eyes stared up at his chin as you rested back into him. “No Sir, I don’t think I do, I just want to lay here for a moment.” His chuckle had an evil tinge to it. “Oh no pudding you can’t lay down yet. The drawing needs to dry first. If you don’t need to move around, then why don’t you get on your hands and knees. Rest your head on the bed if you want to. I want to explore your body.” You moved into position as he stood from the bed. He just walked around looking at you. “Oh pudding you are simply glorious like this. Your body is perfection”  
  
He moved up to the bed to kneel behind you. His hands explored your ass and watched as you twitched under his hands. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the small of your back as his hand slid into your slit. A low guttural moan escaped your lips as you pushed back into his hand seeking the friction that you wanted. Your pussy was already swollen from the desire in your headspace. “Kenma, Sir, please” His chuckle was exactly what you hoped not to hear. “No pudding not yet, you don’t get to cum yet.” as his fingers slipped from your hole to your clit dragging down the moisture there as his nail caught lightly on your clit. Once more a groan was dragged from your lips and you pushed back into him. A swift sharp slap on your ass. “Pudding, I told you, I warned you.” Your body jumped as his tone of voice changed. “If you want to show me how good you can be, you will hold fucking still.” He stepped away from the bed to walk in front of you. His fingers still coated with your moisture slipped into your mouth and pulled you to look up at him. “Will you be good baby?” Your tongue lapped up the taste of yourself as you mouthed “yes Sir” around his fingers. 

“Now, I want you to roll over onto your back. It’s time to decorate the front of your lovely body.” You whined just a little bit before his eyebrow raised which cut off your protesting quickly. He guided you into position with your hands raised up above your head and your legs spread so he could sit between them. One leg over each of his thighs allowed him so much easy access to your sex that you vibrated with anticipation. His concentration was laser focused on drawing the harness on your chest. Each twist of rope was highlighted with dark and light colours. A golden hued marker made it look like the drawings were lit up from your skin. Once again the subtle scratch and tickle of the marker was all you could focus on. You closed your eyes and just let him work his magic. He pushed and pulled the skin of your breasts to make it look like you were bound up there. Your hips raised at his pull on your nipples, which led to him pushing down with one hand to hold your hips down. “Pudding, I said be still, or I will not finish.” You whimpered and pulled your hips down, biting into your lip to hold still. “Sir, I just need so bad, I can’t find the calm” 

“That’s okay baby, you just hold still and the calm will find you I promise.” Your eyes teared up and closed again. A shaky breath was exhaled across your lips as your tongue swiped along it. Occasionally you’d take a look through your lashes at him. His tongue was caught between his teeth as he concentrated on getting it just right. The last time you looked at him, he glanced up and saw you quickly shut your eyes. “Oh pudding, were you not keeping your eyes closed?” Your body tensed up as he raked his nails across the small lift of your stomach. “Now pudding, just what will I do with you?” He scooted backwards and looked down at you. “Oh baby girl, now you have to look at me.” Your body shivered as his hands scraped up your inner thighs. “Hold on to that railing baby, if you let go, you will have hell to pay.” His middle and ring finger slid into your sex and immediately crooked upwards. His thumb pressed against your clit, not moving at all. You whimpered slightly as you fought to hold still. Your hips were shaking involuntarily but you didn’t dare raise them off the bed. A coil inside you was tightening as he started to flick over your clit. Your mouth opened in a silent scream as you were so close. “Fuck, please Sir, please, I need” He gave you a half smile and pulled his fingers out of you. “Pudding didn’t I say keep your eyes closed and just feel?” The whimpered cry that escaped your lips was so filled with longing. 

“Now baby girl, sit up and let these marks dry. We haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.” With shaky motions you sat up and leaned against the headboard railing. “Sir, what exactly do you mean we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet?” as you eyed him narrowly. “Oh the plans I have for you pudding. But first, have some of the snacks you prepared and drink up, you will need it.” You nibbled on the chocolate while sipping at the water as Kenma put away his markers, save a lone black one. He crawled up the bed to sit cross legged between your legs once again spreading your legs over his thighs. His hands grazed up and down the length of your legs sending shocks of electricity and goosebumps over your skin. The pace of your breathing picked up as you watched him cautiously. “Pudding, now it is time to serve, are you ready?” You placed your water to the side and sat up without thinking. That only served to let him pull you into his lap and allow your legs to wrap around him as he leaned in for a deep kiss. His hands dug into the hairs at the nape of your neck and started pulling pins out to let your hair flow down your back. His lips pushing hard against yours as his tongue demanded entrance. One of his hands slipped down between your legs to thrum against your clit causing you to moan open to allow him access to your mouth. By the time he was done kissing you, your entire body was throbbing and your hips were begging for more. 

He pulled back from you yet again not letting your orgasm ride over your body. “Pudding, baby girl, I need you to stand up.” He helped you to stand on shaky legs over the towel he had placed on the ground. “Now stay here for a moment. Put your hands behind your back and hold each wrist with your hands.” He watched as you followed directions and walked around you to make sure you had it just right. Stepping away from you to turn on music finally. It was your favourite classical playlist. The sounds of strings filled the air as you closed your eyes absorbing the emotion from the music. “Now pudding, I want you to spread your legs as far as you comfortably can but stay straight up and hold those wrists. Don’t let go. This command is as powerful as those bindings I’ve drawn on you.” In your mind you sunk deeper into the calm. Your eyes closed to him, and just felt his presence around you. He started to whisper in your ear, “I want to read you something that always made me think of having you like this once I admitted to myself years ago how I felt about you. 

'Twas battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it

hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin,

but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,

"Who starts the bidding for me?"

"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"

"Two dollars, who makes it three?"

"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three

“You have become battered by life my sweet girl” as his hands reached around from behind you to caress your body. He lifted your breasts and caressed the nipples into hard peaks. You started to lay your head back into him but with a quick “No pudding, up straight remember?” as he continued to torture your breasts with light touches. His clothed body was so different from what you felt. You were so open and exposed while he was still hidden and that did nothing but help you to sink further into your mind. 

  
  


But, No,

From the room far back a gray bearded man

Came forward and picked up the bow,

Then wiping the dust from the old violin

And tightening up the strings,

He played a melody, pure and sweet

As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer

With a voice that was quiet and low,

Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"

As he held it aloft with its' bow.

His hands reached down further to brush against your stomach as his body pressed further to you. His lips and teeth leaving marks along your shoulders as your fingers dug into your own skin. The desire to touch him was so strong, but you needed to be still. You needed him to be proud of you. You felt him move around to the front of you. 

  
  


"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"

"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"

"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,

Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,

But some of them cried,

"We just don't understand."

"What changed its' worth?"

Swift came the reply.

"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

You could feel him kneeling down before you pressing kisses along your stomach until he reached the soft short curls of your sex. His fingers slid up into you swiftly and decisively as you gasped loudly. He timed it with a loud crash of the cellos in your music. Your knees threatened to go out but you quickly straightened back up. 

  
  


"And many a man with life out of tune

All battered and bruised with hardship

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd

Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,

A game and he travels on.

He is going once, he is going twice,

He is going and almost gone.

His fingers curled forward into your inner walls. You were already starting to clamp down on him as your breath was panting and faster. Your eyes threatened to open but you fought to keep them closed. Low moans interspersed with panting breaths were all you could focus on. 

But the Master comes,

And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,

The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought

By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

“Now baby girl, cum on my hand, come on your Master’s hand” That was all it took for you to start to shake and shiver. The evidence of your orgasm splashed down around his hand and to the towel below. Your legs threatened to give out on you, but he held you up until you could stand on your own again. “Open your eyes pudding, look down at me” You took a few slow long blinks before the words registered and you looked down at him. He moved his hand to his mouth to lick his fingers clean. “Pudding you taste so sweet.” Now stand still, and let me make one more adjustment to your artwork. He picked up that one lone black marker and wrote the word…

**MINE**

Just above the soft curls there. 

  
  


He turned you to look in the mirror you had nearby. “Pudding you see this here, I think it’s fact now. I think we were always meant for each other. Now you have a mark for a short time showing that.” He pressed a kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder before wrapping his arms around you to hold you tight as you swayed on your feet. You closed your eyes once again and laid your head back on his shoulder swaying to the music and the pulse that was pounding in your heart. “No baby girl, I want you to see the beauty of your submission. The beauty in how you serve me.” He gave you a nudge to get you to your knees with your side to the mirror. He stepped back from you as you settled down, knees splayed open and your palms resting on your thighs. He shook his head, “No pudding, arms behind your back again please.” You quickly adjusted your posture to how he wanted you to be, bringing your shoulders back and clasping each wrist. Your eyes only on him. 

He moved through the motions to strip before you. Pulling his t-shirt off first so you could see the tattoos he, himself had there. Your fingers ached to reach out and touch the chaining vine filigree there. There seemed to be no end and no beginning to it at all, covering both pectorals. He toed off his boots and set them to a side swiftly followed by his socks. The low slung jeans he wore showed of the V of his hips and a small dusting of hair just above the waistband. You watched as his hands moved, undoing each button of his jeans while avidly licking your lips. You could tell he was already hard by the erection that pressed against the fly of the denim there. Your eyes widened as his cock came into view. Once he pulled his jeans off and tossed them aside he stepped into your reach. “No pudding, keep your hands behind your back for now.” Your nails dug into your arms at the ache of needing to touch him. 

“Open that lovely mouth good girl” You opened up your lips and let your tongue dip out as you waited for him patiently, if not a little desperately. His hand held the base of his cock as he fed it into your mouth. “Now pudding, please me, show me how much you want me to cum down your throat, but keep those hands behind you as if they were bound.” You started to rock back and forth only managing to take in half his length at first. You started to close your eyes to take in the texture of his skin over your tongue but a simple tapping on your forehead had you pausing to look up at him. “Watch in the mirror love, watch how well you serve me” A shudder wracked your body as you turned with Kenma slightly to give you a better viewing angle. You could see your cheeks puff in and out with each thrust into your mouth. His hand wrapped in your hair to help guide you, to help you keep pace. 

The pulse over your tongue was getting faster. You could look up and see his eyes closed in pleasure as finally both hands were in your hair. “Now baby girl, hands on my thighs and brace yourself. Watch in the mirror…” Your hands rested on his lean muscular thighs as he pushed your farther. Down into your throat he had finally made it. The ring of muscle at the top contracting with each thrust. He timed his thrust just enough to let you breathe. Your cheeks puffing in and out as tears formed in your eyes. His groans filled your heart as a switch flipped in your head. He was worshiping your body and serving you, just as you served him. This was how it was supposed to be, how it was always supposed to be. Your mind began to float as you were simply there for him. His hips broke rhythm as his soft growls went straight to your heart and core of desire. He pulled you close to him, your nose in the soft tufts of hair at the base of his cock as his orgasm filled your throat. You swallowed as quickly as you could, happy to please your Sir. You took one final look in the mirror at your flushed face, the peaked nipples, the panting that you were doing as he pulled out of your mouth. The slackness of his cock covered with your saliva. 

He stood there catching his breath for a moment before helping you stand and move to the bed. Pulling the covers back and tucking the both of you in as you both drank heavily of the now room temperature water. You rested your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and placed kisses on the top of your head. 

“Pudding, sweet baby girl. Are you okay? I didn’t push you too hard or too far?” you shook your head against his skin before looking up at him. “Kenma, will it always be like that?” He chuckled lightly “No, no pudding it won’t always be like that, but we will find ways to work that in whenever we can. Small moments each day if you will have it. Bring me coffee, sit at my feet and rest your head on my knees, follow some rules that I would set in place.” He continued holding you tight as your breathing finally slowed. “However pudding, it will be only as fast as you set the pace. I will cherish all that you want or need to give to me. But let’s just start with tomorrow.” 


End file.
